AHA!

You Didn't Believe Me Did You!!!???

Well here I am, updating my blog within seven days of the Triathlon!!! Yeah!!!! Wooooooo!!!! Check my excrement!!!!

To cut to the chase, I completed the course in 1hour 12min & 55sec. See here for the full table of results:

http://www.cardifftri.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=831&Itemid=1&show=1#comments

There's no denying it, I was terrified at the beginning of the race! My words were jumbled as I spoke to Marshals and I couldn't even open my Powerade without feebly dropping the top. Wouldn't you be terrified if you were this guy?:

Look at them all! Everyone one weighs two stone nothin' and are wearing those special triathlete swim suits. Everyone but me that is, stocky in stature and no kit other than the tiny speedos I bought with my 10% discount in the DW store. You wouldn't believe it to look at me here, but the swim was my strongest leg of the race. Despite my bad shoulder I completed the 400m in 7min 24sec placing 46th. Look at me go!:

(I'm the blurry green cap in the water)

So from there it was a sprint into the car park for a smooth transition:

HEY! It's really hard to get a polo shirt on when you're fresh out the pool! I gangsta wrapped my helmet on and made my way to the 'mount' line and I was off! The cycling proved to be my downfall, I made a good personal time, but it was nothing in comparison to most other competitors. The route left the leisure centre and immediately turned left up the MASSIVE HILL!!! The route continued as it began, hill after hill after hill. Check the change in pain factor between lap 1 and lap 2:

Lap 1, It's not too bad...

Lap 2, I don't wanna be on the bike anymore!

At the end of the bike leg I did manage a smooth transition into the run and left at an over enthusiastic pace. With Good Reason I Hasten To Add!!! As I approached the turning into the leisure centre I spotted the first person who had over taken me on the bike (yes the FIRST person!) and was determined to finish before her. It was a hard mile and a half before taking my place back became a real possibility. She was no more than 10m away as we rounded a corner onto a downhill and she made an all too common mistake. Determined to maintain her pace she shortened her stride and fought the pull of gravity! Noticing this I widened my stride, pushed my hips forward and allowed gravity to do the rest. I sped passed and never looked back.

Not that I could, I maintained my increased pace for the remainder of the race. Toward the end I couldn't breath in sync with my steps only gasp noisily and occasionally scream at myself to keep going.

I turned a corner and was informed by a very enthusiastic marshal that this was the sprint finish. I took one final gasp, closed my eyes and pushed, I pushed so hard I wanted to cry, my legs and chest screamed from exhaustion, my shoulder sent shooting pains down my spine:

Then it was over. I stumbled to the side and allowed the warmth of pain to fill my body. My wife quickly approached and handed me the sweetest tasting bottle of water I have ever had the pleasure to drink!

I loved every second of it, and intend on keeping up my new found sport of 'Sprint Triathlon'.

A big THANK YOU to everyone that has supported me along the way and special thanks to all at the Cardiff Triathlon Club who hosted this excellent event and made it one of the most friendly competitions I have had the pleasure to take part in.

Thanks to everyone that has sponsored me so far, we have already raised over £140 and am now pushing to make it to the £200 which will pay for the accommodation at the Worlds in 5 weeks time.

If you can afford any pennies please donate below or send me a text:

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Check out the incredible determination on display in the 1997 Iron Man World Championships! Next time you don't think you can go any further, think of these ladies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTn1v5TGK_w

Hi You May Remember Me:

From such Posts as:

Full Contact Swimming, A&E, and a New Punishment

So, Punishment Sucks!!!

and

Chunkers can be Fit Too!

Those of you used to reading my blog will be expecting a swift, mildly amusing paragraph (including a funny photo) of excuses for not posting for long right about.....

Here.

However, you are to be disappointed (be it!), for I shall not bring myself to my usual level of detailing all the good ol' reasons Spinko forced me to drink, and Bar YK forced me to work more hours than normal, and my squad forced me to skip a senior session and go for a drink. No! I shan't go into all that.

Instead I am going to jump in and give you some of the highlights and the low lights of the last month (be seated, grab some popcorn and turn down the lights. Perhaps, light a lonely candle on the mantle piece):

The main highlight for me has been the massive improvement in cycling ability. I have even begun to cycle to training on a Thursday which is 12 miles (aka a 50min cycle) before the usual nut-ness that is three hours of training! The route is hard with too many stops at pitiful looking traffic lights and a constant uphill over approximately three miles between Ely and the top of Culver House Cross. The uphill begins fairly gentle and gradually builds into THE Hill Of Death (Trumpets and bass drums please!). Anyone that knows the hill at Culver House Cross is aware that this bad boy is a struggle in a jumbo jet, yet alone a wee-bikey-wikey!
The first time I forced my way all the way to the top without stopping was a big moment for me. The sun was low in the sky, my legs were screaming for me to end it all, and sweat dripped down my chest in a fashion not too dissimilar from a scene out of 'Troy' featuring Brad Pitt. Just as I was tapping myself on the back and literally laughing at how incredibly awesome I was and *WOOSH!* Some cocky little someinsomein cycled passed me as if we had just hit a down hill!!!!

Damn.

So anyway! Running! Yes the joys of running. The constant pounding of pavement under your feet, the nausea feeling in your gut as you turn a corner and find a MASSIVE hill, the blisters, the sweat, the pain, the minor sense of accomplishment... It's alright.
To be fair, ever since my 10k running has been going well. I have been running a three mile circuit directly after cycling and hitting every hill I can find. On a negative I have begun running without socks (as you don't wear socks during the triathlon) and this has lead to a rather pungent smell within the foot well of my shoes. I'm sure the smell is full of vitamins and other good stuff for my feet mind!

NB, the 'add picture' button seems to have stopped working. I have an awesome pick for this spot and will do my best to add it later.

Swimming has gone well. I am now at the point where the idea of a 1500m swim doesn't scare me, or count as a full swim session in it's own right (I know, check me out!). I did have one particularly hard session the other week. We went back to the 'full contact swimming' but with a difference. This time around we had to swim in a diamond formation for 50m, and the have some one act as a 'disruptor' for 75m. That is a very long time to have some one pull at your legs, elbow you in the neck and generally disrupt you. The drill involved doing this twice with a break in between. Well I complete the first one with confidence, feeling the burn having cycled to training but confident this was going to be a good session. Then, just as I was beginning to catch my breath the call went out:
"We need one more swimmer in this lane!".
I looked over and saw the 'elite' lane was one man short. Now these are the boys that represent Wales in the World Championships and can crack a coconut between their very impressive pecs, so there was no way in hell I was going in that lane. Until the coach looked me in the eye and yelled:
"Well hurry up then!"
Apparently I had looked up at the wrong moment and fell prey to his furious anger!

It was single handedly the most muscle burning, make you sick, I'm going to die, drill I have ever done! I went the distance and was chuffed with myself as I got out of the pool and collapsed on the floor from exhaustion, only to see one other person get in with them and they began again as it was their first length!

Damn.

All in all, training has been going really well, I've come along way and am happy with my progress.

However, last Sunday I did a 12 mile cycle and a four mile run followed by some basic karate practice in my kitchen. All was well with the world and I was working on my Oi-Zuki and something in my right shoulder went *bye-bye*. I've struggled to move my shoulder since and it even hurt whilst pulling pints at work last night!!!
It looked as if tomorrows triathlon was a no go, and I haven't even done any real karate training this week. However, today it didn't feel AS bad as it has done so I figured I'd take it for a test run. I've done a short cycle, swim and run and am in a capable amount of pain and don't believe I'm going to do any serious damage by taking part.

So, at 8:40 tomorrow I will be starting my first ever triathlon as planned. My only problem is that I have spent the entire last week not expecting to take part in the event and have not raised any sponsorship as a result. Therefore I ask that if you can please spare any money at all either use the donate button below or send me a text and I will put the money in for you and collect another day.

Please remember that all money raised will go toward the costs of taking the Welsh ASK Karate squad to the World Championships in October. Excluding the cost of the bike doing this triathlon has cost me in excess of £70 and many hours of training. There will be a follow up blog, including pictures within seven days, else you may shoot me in the foot!

Wish me luck!

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Is anyone else LOVING the YouTube bar on the left side of the page!? It's come up with some awesome videos whilst I've been online, it's actually quite distracting!

Also, make sure you check out the August edition of The Shotokan Way (top of the page), it contains an excellent interview with Toru Shimoji and some excellent pictures to boot!

You can see my name in the race list by following this link:

http://www.cardifftri.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=826&Itemid=1&show=1#comments

Check out Spinkys latest outburst! It's a personal favorite of mine I thinks!

http://spinny-butenoughaboutme.blogspot.com/2010/07/gallery-of-newborns.html

So... It's been awhile *Awkward Smile*

Hey, so, how are you?
Oh, it's like that is it? OK, I guess I deserve that. I didn't realise I am quite so bad at doing stuff I say I'll do as I am (Yeah! Get your head around that sentence!). I do have someone else to blame other than ol' Spinkster for once, although it is of course partly his fault (check out his blog: http://spinny-butenoughaboutme.blogspot.com/2010/07/thoughts-on-vevuzela-horn.html). You see, what happened on Friday was I did my cycle in 1hr 9min and 55sec, which as you may remember meant I could drink whatever the hell I wanted!!! Goooooooooooooood!!!!!

When I got back off my 16mile cycle there was a 'Kev' sat on my wall waiting for me. He was grinning, the kind of grin that says "You're in trouble in a really good way!". So one thing led to another and next thing you know it's five in the morning and you're watching Rocky III and the wife who has work in a few hours is most unamused. Apparently at one moment one of us said the line:

"It's the poetry of it"

Yes, that's right, at one point or another one of us believed this:

Was poetry!
So, for obvious reasons blogging just was not going to happen on Saturday. However, the food, wine, cider and beer festival happening in Cardiff Bay ensured that I didn't want to blog on Sunday either. Come Monday and I was still fragile and training was hard so blogging then didn't seem viable, and just like that I was out of the habit...

So... You see? It wasn't really my fault at all!



Anyhoo, I can tell you're just gagging for all the latest happenings and what nots. Well, it's all been a bit up and down, I've had some major achievements such as cycling the 21 miles home after work and some bummers such as getting off the train one night to find my bike had been stolen *tear*. For a bit the lack of bike was a real issue, but then I had an amazing idea!



I totally bought a new bigger/better bike!!!! Oh yes my little friends, at one point earlier today I overtook a Micra driving around Roath Park. Seriously, I was travelling so fast I thought I was going to lose my balls!!! Not only is it incredibly fast as it's a road bike my leg position is better and not only did this aid my running once I was off the bike but also meant that I could practice my kata without any pain in my hips. This is major, up until today I had found that cycling was hurting my hips so much I was unable to comfortably sit in any traditional stance, however, today even my back-stance was looking lush!!!!

I am really excited about my training this week, tomorrow I'm back with the swim squad in the Olympic pool, then Monday squad training, Tuesday is swimming again but in the 25m pool, Wednesday will be a rest before more squad training on Thursday and the cycle repeats. It. Is. Going to be... HAWSOME!!!!!!!!!



On a side note, a mate of mine has joined the club and totally enjoys getting hit!!! Big Up Lil' Kris!!!

Right, well it's time for me to bail/leave/go/get a life/not be here/or doing this.

I wont leave it so long next time I plomise!

Ooh! Please check out some of the new links around the page, I particularly advise 'The Shotokan Way' at the top of the page. It's one of the highest rated online magazines for Shotokan Karate.
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Don't get me wrong, I have nothing at all against people who define themselves as 'Emo' but I love this song!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HZNO9A6TQo

This song details everything that is good with one of Wales' major cities:
http://www.youtube.com/user/mjdelaneyfilms

Day 4 & 5 of 6

I CAN EXPLAIN! I CAN! SSSSSSHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh........
It wasn't my fault. Guess whose fault it was...
Damn you Spinky (check his blog)!

Well you will be glad to hear that I did cycle the full 16 miles, wooooooo! No, wait, Owwwwwwww!!!!By the time I got off the bike my buttocks were swollen to the size of small bowling balls!!!
To make matters worse I had a call off our good friend Spinky as I walked in the door:
"Dude, our good mate (anonymous), has received a promotion come down the pub."
Long story short, I had four pints and was a mess!!!!
I did however, complete the new Transformers game 'War for Cybertron'! *Ding*
Obviously I woke up feeling as fresh as a daisy this morning. I thought today was going to hurt and training be a disaster. I was wrong, training was the best three hours of recent weeks! For the first hour and a half we worked a group scenario and beat each other up. For the second hour and a half we worked complex sparring drills with a lot of kicking to the head. Being an ex-kick boxer I LOVE KICKING PEOPLE IN THE HEAD!!!
I am knackered! This week started hard but has improved daily meaning that I have pushed it harder and harder and harder and am more stumbling than walking as a result. Tomorrow is the final day mind with only one more 16 mile cycle to complete. Of course, this doesn't mean I'll be slacking off, this means I have to push it so hard I poo my pants!
Yesterday I completed 16 miles in 1hr 14min so tomorrow... What do you reckon... 1hr 10min???
Alright, it's a deal, it's a steal, it's the deal of the f*cking century.
If I do it in less than 1hr 14min but more than 1hr 10min I get to buy beer;
If I do it in 1hr 10min or less I get to buy decent beer;
If I do it in more than 1hr 14min no beer *sob*
Come back tomorrow for the result (I see you shiver in anticipation!).

Food Diary
For Yesterday (when today was yesterday)
4 x pancakes (with sugar, STOP JUDGING ME!)
Steak with boiled potatoes, mixed veg, and peppercorn sauce
Kettle crisps and homous
2 cans of 7up light

For Yesterday (the actual yesterday)
75g cereal
Muller rice lite
2 x salad with strips of salad
tuna sandwich
4 x fosters
1 x straight vodka

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Check out this awesome NHL fight! 'AV 'IM!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1-25s4uwFQ

Day 3 of 6

I went training with the triathlon club tonight and guess what.... .... .... Training was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, everything 'clicked' again and I was like a crippled fish in water:

The session began with four drills of 100m starting with 'Chicken Wings' moving to 'Shaking Wrists' continue to 'teetering fingers' and finishing with 'long strokes'. Then came the hard work: 4 sets of 150m, 6 sets of 100m, 6 sets of 75m and 8 sets of 50m PHEW!

Now I've made my salad for lunch tomorrow, am sitting with my bubbles on the sofa and looking forward to pushing it hard on the bike tomorrow night!!!
Massive Respect!!!

Food Diary (For Yesterday)
Food
Bacon Roll
2 x mints
tuna roll
Pot Noodle
1/2 Mince pie
Drink
Coffee with 2 sweeteners
2 x Pints of Pepsi Max
Oasis

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Check a true master at work:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IlW_vP4cpw

Day 2 of 6

It still sucks!
I'm not entirely sure what's happened. Before I hurt my foot I was feeling more fit than I have done in years, classes were getting easier and I was able to push harder. As you know, yesterday I actually had to stop at one point and tonight was little different. There was no point of stopping, but it was a real struggle from start to finish. My muscles were stiff and inflexible and my form was poor with slow movements.
With any luck this is only temporary after a week of no exercise. Perhaps that was a mistake on my part, and I should have kept the body active over the week. My thoughts were that I didn't want to risk hurting my foot any further and a rest week may be ideal overall. Or perhaps, as previously discussed, I'm just a big woose:




Food Diary (For yesterday)
Food Drinks

3x cheese on toast 2x Lucozade

75g cereal Cup of tea with 1 sugar

Tuna mayo roll 2x Shots of Baileys

250g new potato & small tin beans

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Day 1 of 6

I feel awful! I served my punishment today, and thanks to my good friend Spinky (check his blog)I had to serve it hungover.
That's right, it was all his fault, not mine, I wasn't going to drink. I wasn't! Spinky however knows how to cut to the core of me and had me drinking beer, vodka, blue stuff, green stuff and some gold stuff until 1am this morning. Guess how fresh I felt when my alarm went off at 9am for training... Go on, guess... No, rougher. Rougher... There you go!
Thanks to some help from my gorgeous wife I managed to get my behind out of bed and down stairs for some breakfast. To be honest, I was really worried about training. My foot is feeling better, but it has been a full week since I got my heart-rate up and an international pool is no place to find yourself unfit. So I had three pieces of cheese on toast, and 75g of Dorset Cereal.I necked a lucozade and some water and hit the road... Jack.
After three long miles I arrived at the pool to find it closed to public and training cancelled. NOT AMUSED!
I had to think fast, really fast, I was like that dude off CSI, the one with the glasses, and BOOM! The idea hit me like a pillow to the back of the head:

I cycled the extra mile to my gym and used the pool there. 800m of it. I struggled, I hated it, I felt awful, I almost quit!!! I was unable to coordinate my body, my arms and hips were out of sync and my breathing was erratic at best. At one point I had to actually stop mid length, luckily the pool was only a meter deep. However, if I had been at the international pool I really would have been in trouble.

I managed to make the distance in the end and stumbled out the pool and into the showers. A 3 mile cycle home and I can honestly say that I have never felt so drained from a work out. The exercise was minimal really, but my body was in a poor state to begin with and it only went downhill. Last night should not have happened.

Food diary so far:

3 x Cheese on toast with brown sauce;

75g of Dorset Cereal;

Lucozade sport orange

Lucozade, low calorie isotonic drink.

I plan to have a tuna sandwich for lunch and pasta with a tomato sauce for dinner.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and indulge my self pity.

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Full Contact Swimming, A&E, and a New Punishment

Whoa Whoa!

Alright! Chill out! I know you've been worried, I should have called, I'm sorry. It's been three weeks since my last blog which breaks my promise of a blog every week. So, as we are all aware, this calls for punishment.

As it happens I am unable to train this week after injuring my right foot during the Blandford Bridges 10k. Considering that less than a month ago I could run less than 5k, I was happy with my time of 53min 09sec. Although the constant pounding of the hard ground through my old trainers knocked my foot black and blue! It resulted in my wife and I spending four or five hours in A&E to ensure nothing was broken. Luckily it was nothing more than tissue damage and I'm a big woos.

"Shut up and get with the punishment!"

Alright, calm down! My point is that I'm able to do little more than sit and flinch occasionally so technically I'm already being punished. However, doctors advised to rest it for 10 to 14 days. Naturally the doctors were exaggerating and I am sure that 7 days rest is more than enough for my super foot!

Therefore, from Sunday 4th of July I am going to go training for at least an hour every day for six days. To keep the punishment relevant to the crime I will also blog every day to keep you up to date with exactly what happens.

Having run this idea passed some of my friends I have received criticism that rather than being a punishment this is almost an award to me. Whilst it is true that I love to train and push myself hard, I am always conscious of taking tactical rest days to ensure that I can apply 110% to each session. By the end of six days training without a rest day I will be physically and emotionally *"%$£^!

Let me explain:

Sunday and Tuesday will be swimming with the Cardiff Triathlon club who, as nice as they are, can only be described as nutters! Not only do they all have lumps and bumps that would make an armadillo proud, but they practice what I like to call 'Full Contact Swimming'. To simulate an open water race random people are selected to act as 'disruptor's'. The disruptor's job is to effect everyone else by grabbing their legs, pulling on their shoulders, literally swimming over the top of them and generally 'disrupting'. They continue to disrupt through the session whilst the coach screams commands for sprint laps, head high swimming, endurance 1500m strides etc etc. Add to this the 10 mile round trip on my bike and I'm ready to sleep well.

Monday and Thursday will involve three hours of karate. With the worlds looming ahead, and a grading with Chief Instructor Dave Hazard in September, the intensity of training has been 'up-ed' significantly. It is becoming a frequent site for people to faint or drop out on the verge of being sick (awesome!), and lets not forget Sensei Banfields love of hitting me!

Wednesday and Friday require something to fill my lack of running whilst I save for new shoes. Hmmmmmm... Oh, Wait! I normally cycle 10miles and run up to six miles... So.... By Joves, I think I've got it! A 16 mile cycle!!! (Dear God what am I saying!?). Yes, yes that's it, it's perfect, it's beautifully simplistic! IT'S PAIN ON WHEELS!
Let us not forget that I am still incredibly junior at this whole 'blogging' phenomenomenom, and struggle to put each blog together in less than an hour. That's excluding my food and training diaries that I still keep. Ooh! That's something I will add to my blogs from my next blog on Sunday. Of course, it is my lists of food and drink that keep you coming back for more really!

Sweet, so I'm all set for a week of pain and misery and you're all set for some amusing reads.

Don't forget the little fellow below:

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The Pain Issue

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! My Moo!!!

It's true, Friday was supposed to be blog night. A promise was broken, how can you ever forgive me?

Well hopefully looking at some pictures of me in serious pain will help:

Oh, no. Wait. Before I can allow you to take pleasure in my suffering I must make something clear. I have trained seriously as a Kick boxer and Karateka for over six years now. I have taken part in multiple endurance events and won world championships. Sensei Banfield began training in Shotokan Karate as a boy and is possibly the most competent martial artist I have had the pleasure to meet. I would never repeat this exercise with anyone else, and would deam any imitation of it as foolish.

"What did you do?" I hear you ask,

Well, I requested Sensei Banfield hit me with intent to hurt me whilst someone took photos:

An Ushiro Mawashi Geri (Hook Kick), caught me sweet on the lower jaw, rattling my head enough to show stars!







Shotei Uchi (Pal Heel Strike), a technique used to stun your opponent, creating the time for a lethal blow. Imagine being slapped by mum after telling her she has put on weight. Now make her a body builder!






This requires no explanation, and was the worst by far! It was a good ten seconds before I could breath easy again, and it still hurts to touch now!








Mawashi Geri (Round House Kick), caught me crack on the ear causing it to ring for the reminder of the night.









Another Mawashi Geri (Round House Kick), but this time to the back of the head. The optics live in the back of the head.





Taken today after a six mile run and one mile cycle. As some of you are aware this is twice the distance I have been running so far. It hurt, it hurt real bad!









As you can see training has been particularly painful recently, and none of it is without reason. My goal is to travel with my club to the World Championships in October and bring back some silver wear. In order to get there we have to raise over £2,500 and so I am also training for a triathlon this summer to help raise some sponsorship.
Therefore I would be most grateful for any money you are able to sponsor myself and the club using the below pay pal button. I assure you that all money goes straight to the club bank account, and thanks to a very generous business sponsor will be doubled upon completion.

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Check this fight for an incredible winning jumping-spinning-round house kick!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vultyaox7ey